It's Friday. Sex?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I didn't notice because vodka
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
