I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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