you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize