Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
