i just google imaged poop.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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