Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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