It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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