She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
50% drunk capacity currently
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
