Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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