If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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