I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
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