Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize