Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize