im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize