Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
