you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
