do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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