Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize