yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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