Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
