My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize