I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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