Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
