i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
