she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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