You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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