cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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