Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My balls are so social today.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
