she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
