you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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