My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
