it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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