Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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