oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude i'm inner monologue high
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize