Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize