My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize