i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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