I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
