Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
