He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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