sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
