It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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