He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
