I can tuck mytits in my pants
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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