worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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