You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
