I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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