big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
