Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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