the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
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I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
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I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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