So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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