You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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