So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
