flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
