Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
