i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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