im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
sex in a hospital.. check
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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