I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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