I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
