I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
