my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
