I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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