Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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