i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
