mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
